Dying to Live

So this is my first blog entry, ever.  I have been putting off starting a blog because it seems intimidating for some reason.  It somehow feels too revealing and vulnerable to just put whatever comes out down and sending it out into cyberspace for anyone to judge.  Seems silly to care now that I'm writing it out. I think it's partially that I'm still quite co-dependent and I wouldn't want to make anyone uncomfortable if I write about them.  And then theres the whole judging my writing thing.  Maybe that's the real truth. Oh well, I'm just gonna go for it.

I start a grief group tonight at a church I've been to a few times that we have loosly claimed our own.  I lost my younger sister, Rachel, to cervical cancer four months ago.  She was 29.  She didn't want to die. Obviously, only those were her words to me just days before she went. She loved God and had total peace about meeting her maker.  However, she was dying to live.  She wanted to do things.  See things.  Experience things.  She wanted to live up until the very end.  And she will live.  Forever.  In a perfect place, doing only the coolest things ever.  In God's perfect Love.  Never to be seperated from it.  Romans 8;38.

I really miss her the most when I want to share something with her and I realize shes not here.  She was my best friend.  She was the first person I would call when I had something cool I did or got and wanted to share it.  She was appreciative of the coolest things in life.  She was sooooo cool.  I have decided I will live the rest of my life in honor of Rachel.  I will be doing only the coolest things, as this is what she would do if she were here.

The first of which I started yesterday.  Skateboarding.  Yes, I'm 35, and I am learning to skate and I am absolutely and completely addicted already.  It's better than any anti-depressant I've ever been on.  My son Isaac and I are learning together.  He's six and tells me I'm too old, but I don't believe him:0